Real God…Real Men…Real stories!
April 30, 2009
Dear Pastor Todd,
I have relocated to Detroit for a number of reasons but I’m still in touch with ISI (Reload) via emails, blogs and the Res Life website.
My life has been transformed for Christ and by Christ. ISI (Reload) and Res Life were a major reason in that transformation.
Keep up the outstanding work that you’re doing!
AT
FOCUS TESTIMONY
Pastor Todd,
I wanted to drop a quick word of “Thank You” to you and your wife. I was part of the Focus class this past fall and it really helped me get some clarity in my life and is helping me make some very positive changes. My wife is part of the Thursday women’s ministry and is taking the session that your wife is leading. She is experiencing some excellent teaching and she is also making noticible changes in her life and I am seeing a change in our marriage. We have both experienced some tremendous spiritual growth over the past couple months.
Thank you and your wife for the time and effort you put into pouring yourself out into the lives men and women. I know my wife and I really appreciate and have been blessed by it.
FOCUS TESTIMONY
First, I would like to say that the workbook Stepping into Freedom was overall a success. My instructor, I felt, was no less than awesome. He assisted in helping me understand the workbook better by giving examples and practical ways as he has shown.
FOCUS TESTIMONY
I would like to thank Bill for bringing this class to life. It has become another stepping stone in my new walk with God. The group opened up and we had some great discussions on several important trials in our lives. The class brought how Jesus and scripture can work to guide us in our everyday life. God has great plans for us if we will let Him guide us. I think the class was GREAT. Suggestions—I can’t think of any. But I am sure that the Holy Spirit will work through Bill when there needs to be a change.
FOCUS TESTIMONY
Sometimes the things that you ask the Lord to help you change you may not see. But the Lord is faithful to your prayers. He changes how you talk [and] react, how you reason, how you punish, reward, flatter, your actions, and how you love others. When you focus on the Lord you also get His undivided attention. When you focus on God first [and] you second, then things become more manageable. People become more understandable; situations have less pain with the impact.
What you can learn here is that the Lord wants your attention. Then He will be with you, help you with the rest of the problems you might face. Look at Jesus, then at the seemingly unmanageable area of your life and suddenly its not your problem, its Jesus’ and He will show you how to use mercy, respect, love, faithfulness. God can help you close your mouth or tell you when the perfect time to speak to someone is. Don’t try to do things your way, ask God what He thinks. He is faithful to help you.
Listen. He speaks through the Holy Spirit and is the source of all wisdom and understanding. So seek first God’s direction in your life. He will open your heart and your mind. So with that I must ask the Lord to bless you and protect you from the enemy, for he will destroy all you love. God Bless you all!
FOCUS TESTIMONY
The focus group for men (a 12-step program) introduced me to people outside the home that talked about inward struggles that most people aren’t willing to discuss [and] which issues seem to be quite common among me. The group meeting will leave a lasting memorial about the need to forgive and asking to be forgiven as part of making amends and resolutions in relationships. It also made me aware that we have unresolved issues and they need to be addressed.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
Throughout my entire life, I felt that the teachings and the Bible were a strict set of rules and regulations. I could not live without sin, so therefore I believed I was a failure, destined for eternity in hell. I lived a selfish, self-destructive life of alcoholism and false pride. I was always lonely, and felt empty. During a serious situation in my life, I heard a different message about Jesus Christ.
Since I have accepted that message, I have found more peace, joy, freedom, and happiness in my life than I ever could have imagined.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
While I’d been a Christian for a little over 5 years, I lacked true brothers in Christ. I felt like I wanted to grow my relationship with Christ, while also meeting men who were on a similar journey. Having been at Reload now for almost two years, I can confidently say my relationship with Christ has been strengthened, and I have a table full of men who encourage me and hold me accountable. Today I am a better husband, father, and colleague. As I continue with Reload, I know my table brothers will give me support, but will also encourage me to dig deeper and push me to build my relationship with God and the men at my church.
FOCUS TESTIMONY
I learned a lot in our FOCUS class by listening to other men and by being open with my faults. It’s always nice to know that you aren’t in this journey called life by yourself. Other guys tend to go thru the same stuff as I do and together we can come along side and help each other out. The devil is always trying to keep men alone and separated from the brotherhood. He knows that there is power in agreement, transparency and in sharing the common bond known as manhood. I honestly was NOT dealing with the depth of issues that many guys were so of course that made me feel better about myself until I realized that the standard isn’t really other men but God and His perfection and holiness. I can only reach that measure by being in Christ. In Him, I live and move and have my being. In Christ, I can do all things….
Going thru the 12 steps of spiritual recovery has offered me freedom in several areas of my life. I’ve heard of folks going thru AA and I understand that this is the template upon which this program is based. However, I feel like this program is much better because it puts the emphasis on God instead of a higher power or being. I realized that I can Resist, Remove and Replace the bad in my life by my choices. I am now able to ask this question when my wife is having a bad day, “Jesus, what does my wife need from me right now.” I have come to understand that bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting others to die. I am able to forgive in spite of others not because of them. If my foundation is strong, then I’m going to make it thru the tough times. If not, I won’t. My faith is just like a building. Whatever I’m built upon will show in my life. I feel like this class gave me the tools to have a solid foundation on Christ and to know how to break free from the bondage of wrong mindsets and the traps and patterns of wrong behavior. I now know that when I am tired, angry, lonely, or hungry that this is the time the devil will pounce on me. Instead, I am to be vigilant and sober. I finally realize that I can actually win in life consistently by continually stepping up the 12 steps ladder. I’m not where I want to be but I’m also not where I used to be. I realize that I can actually pray for things like wisdom and patience and expect that they will show up in my life when I act on the Word. Why would I want to go back to Egypt and make more bricks with less straw by constantly going back to my problems? The flesh is in submission to the Spirit. It’s not the other way around. Not all good things are profitable for me. I must choose on a daily basis where my life will go. It’s not an accident when good things or bad things happen to me. If I’m not happy with the results then I can observe them and then change. Why should I get emotionally attached to fleshly issues? And why put off tomorrow what I can do today? I have found that there are 2 kinds of people in life: Talkers and walkers. I have become a walker and I’m walking into the potential and all the blessings God has for me. Miracles come in cans! I now am saying I can do it vs. I can’t or won’t ever be able to do it. I have chosen to start my life over and let all the bad stuff go. The devil has nothing on me. Jesus says I win so I’m more than a conqueror. His blood is good enough even when I don’t feel like I ever can be. If he can die on the cross for me then I can give him my life and try to do it his way. My way left me anxious, empty and broke. His life offers me abundance and more than I could ever ask or think but it’s always according to the power that works in ME. I can ask what I will as long as it lines up with his Word and it WILL happen, not because I’m a somebody but because He is the man. I’m the potter and He is the clay. My future is bright. My family has a new man.
In His grip,
Formerly aka “Crazy” Corey and now Corey “Christ-like”
FOCUS TESTIMONY
I enrolled in the Focus class after I had seen it advertised in the church bulletin. I had been struggling with feeling frustrated with my life, not feeling any joy, seeing anger build at the people closest to me, and feeling like I had lost my identity. More than anything, I felt like I did not know who I was anymore. I did not like the path I was on. I was beginning to get more and more depressed. I was constantly berating myself in my mind and was on a path that was going to lead to me physically hurting myself. I was beginning to feel like a paycheck for my family and a robot at work. I felt isolated and very alone even though I had a terrific family around me.
I began coming to the Focus class and made a commitment to not only attend regularly but also put forth whatever effort was requested of me. I worked through the curriculum and made a commitment to regular time with God daily. I soon found that I wanted my time with God because I enjoyed it and not because it was a requirement or item on my task list. As I spent time with God and the other men from my class the Holy Spirit began to work on me. I soon found the Holy Spirit speaking to me about who I am in Christ. Later the Holy Spirit revealed that I should not be spending my time trying to figure out how my identity fits into my life. I should be living life and making decisions day by day that are consistent with the person I have been created to be – my true identity. When I began to do this I found the events in my life began to be shaped by my identity rather than allowing the events of life to define me.
I have found life to be more fulfilling now. My wife tells me I am not as restless anymore and that I have more peace. I can only attribute this to the continual work God is doing in me as I turn more and more of my stuff over to Him and meet Him consistently. The Focus class has helped equip me with the spiritual tools and scriptural backing to do this as well as a teacher and a group of men that I know I can turn to in times of weakness or celebration. I have been blessed by this class and the work God has done in me through it.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
As a fairly new Christian I found Res Life in the early nineties and was growing at a much quicker pace then I was from any other church I had attended. My major problem was I did not have one single Christian friend even after a few years of attendance. It is fair to say that I liked the ability to stay hidden among the people. It was better that smaller churches that wanted to know my life story on the first visit. However I knew there was still something missing.
I read it in a bulletin about the men’s ministry and saved the bulletin for several months until I decided I needed to go to the next level (more like God prompted) and take the plunge. Not knowing what to expect I can laugh about it now because I just sat down and at that time they had name badges and I put one on to fit in… Little did I know that is how they knew who was new. The biggest ah-ha moment I had early on when I started coming was that I was not the only guy who thought the way I did and did stupid stuff from time to time like I did. It was Satan who liked to keep me in the dark and alone on several issues and it was not until I heard how others like me were able to stand against him that I became truly set free.
It has been six years now or maybe a little more and Tuesday is still the best day of the week for me. I not only get word, fellowship, praise and worship but I also have made many friends through the ministry and continue to make more all the time. On any given Sunday morning I can know dozens of people that are sitting in the pews.
I am a table facilitator now and also enjoy being there for the group of men that call table 26 their table and I love it. This ministry has given me an opportunity to take the years I have under my belt now as a Christian and help others around me. But the biggest ah-ha moment I have now is how much more I am helped by everyone around me more than I feel I am helping them. We all have something to give and we all have something to receive.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
The biggest impact for me is witnessing the faithfulness of God in the ongoing transformation of men who consistently attend the weekly Reload meetings. I see men becoming equipped with the courage to step out and take leadership roles in their homes and in the church. I’ve seen God take a teachable man who’s at the top of his game to higher levels of understanding and prosperity. I see hope rise up in men as they make God bigger than their individual circumstances and gain victory as a result of trusting in Him. In witnessing this firsthand, I have come to a greater understanding and appreciation for God when He has said: My Word shall go forth and it shall accomplish that which I set it forth to do, Selah and Amen!
RELOAD TESTIMONY
I really don’t have one particular situation of how Reload has transformed my life, but the sum of all the big and small breakthroughs have led me to a life long commitment to Reload. It adds purpose, value, and passion to my daily walk with Christ. It wasn’t just becoming saved that made me who I am today; it is the mentoring I receive weekly from Pastor Todd, other Table Facilitators, and my tribe at table 22. This team of mentors have prayed me through family healings and have offered advice in my marriage, parenting, and business. They also hold me accountable for my actions. What’s great about this type of mentor ship is that it provides an opportunity for you to receive mentoring at the same time of offering mentoring to others. We are all at different levels in our knowledge of God and I know that God is smiling down on us when he sees us lifting each other up in effort of changing men’s lives and equipping them to change His World.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
As a result of attending Reload for the past year, I have grown rapidly with regard to being a better husband and father. The guidance and wisdom I’ve obtained is valuable and greatly appreciated. Through listening to you, other speakers, as well as talking amongst my table partners, I’ve been able to grow and assist others in growing as well. What a Blessing… Thank you for your time, effort and dedication towards this ministry. I’m looking forward to Reload in 2009.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
I have attended Reload for about three years. Mike McNamara is our table leader and Seth Pawloski our assistant table leader. I have seen God do so many great things in my life and the lives of the men attending our table. For starters the worship is a great way to connect with God during busy schedules. I own a business and I have made various prayer requests that my group prayed about. Each one has been answered. We prayed for a shop/office…God provided above and beyond our needs. We prayed for jobs and work to happen…and God provided. We prayed for healing of family members and God did the healing. We had a situation with embezzlement in our company…tens of thousands of dollars…God brought all the money stolen back! A table member called me once and said God is bringing you a great opportunity…turned out to be the largest job we ever had. God is so faithful. I have to say that the fellowship of my brothers in Christ is so important…it feeds my soul. It is great to be encouraged and to encourage. We all have our trials and successes…you never know from week to week where you might be. I am always amazed at how the speaker or table topic is right on time and right for me. It can be a phrase, a Bible verse, something someone says that meets the need I have. ISI is something I would not want to miss. Thanks to our table leaders who provide oversight and truly care about each member. We have been encouraged to memorize Bible verses and fasting…it makes a difference. I have been challenged and I like the accountability. I would recommend Reload to anyone. Not to mention the food is great too.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
I have always believed in God however I was not raised in a very religious family. All growing up church to me was a 2 times a year thing. Easter and Christmas. When I met my wife I started attending St. Pius in Grandville with her regularly, and still do. On December 10th of 2007 I was in a near fatal semi truck crash in Canada. My nose and cheek bones were broken. My upper jaw was broken off of my skull. My heart was bruised, liver and kidneys were lacerated. My adrenal glands were crushed. I also lost a lot of blood on the scene of the accident. I was brought to a hospital in Victoria Canada near Toronto were my face was repaired and my internal wounds were stabilized enough for me to transfer home to spectrum health downtown GR. (Butterworth) There I went through some surgeries to drain floods out of my chest cavity and repair some off the damage. I then went into septic shock. This was the first off many times my family was told I would not make it through the night. After several weeks of being in intensive care I was recovering. On the first week of March 2008 I went home, still very weak and still somewhat sick. 4 days later I went back to spectrum health with shortness of breath and not feeling well. I was going into septic shock for the second time, and this time it had badly damaged my heart. My family was again told I would not survive the night. With my heart barely functioning at 10% and very ill I was fighting for my life yet again. The next morning I was still alive and the doctors then said I would not make it 3 days. Well after a lot of dialysis’s, and harsh medications I pulled through again. I know have a heart rhythm problem that requires me to have defibrillator. (similar to a pace maker) My heart is pumping at 35% and healing.
During this entire experience my friends and family spent a lot of time praying for me. I truly believe that it is Gods will that I am still alive today. This experience has opened my eyes to God in a way I thought I would never reach. One of my friends from before the accident prayed with me and prayed with his table members at Reload. He talked to me about going to it when I was well enough to do so. When I was able I went. Going to Reload has been more rewarding than I thought possible. Even though I mostly sit back and just take it all in, I look forward to Tuesday morning breakfast at Reload like it’s a big party. I have only missed 2 times since I started coming and that was because it wasn’t humanly possible to be there.
Also, going through all of this caused my wife to question her faith, and ask why did this happen to us, and also my friends ask why out of all our friends did this happen to you and not one of us. I know that that can’t be answered I do know that I wouldn’t be able to make them understand if it wasn’t for Reload, and my friend Howard.
I thank God everyday for giving me the chance to be here to see my daughter grow, to have such a thing as Reload to got to, and for my friend Howard and all the guys who sit at our table.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
Pastor Todd… I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO BLESSED BY ANY CHURCH ATTENDANCE AS I HAVE WITH RELOAD. My life as head of the household has always been touch and go…but since the “MAN UP” campaign, I realized I have to take the leadership at my home. and Man Up. MY marriage has been so much more open. I have learned to walk daily with the Holy Spirit tapping my conscience as my worldly side would raise its ugly sinful characteristics. I know that God led me to Reload and I will always do my best to attend Tuesday mornings. It has been great to call on men at my table to pray for me throughout my struggles….we all just share and they are my brothers in Christ.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
Dear Todd and Reload,
It is great to hear that the Reload group is going strong and expanding, glory to God! It has been almost four years since Cindy and I left our unemployment situation in Grandville to follow God’s blessing of employment down to Benton Harbor.
I look back on the awesome way that God worked in our lives before we left for that new opportunity. My extended family at Reload and Resurection Life Church music ministry made all the difference in supporting us with prayer and encouragement.
To my Reload brothers looking at or experiencing economic difficulty I can offer the encouragement of the Lord who will deliver “the work of our hands” and “cause us to prosper”. Put your lives in His hands and be obedient to His calling where ever it leads. Although we are now in Rock Hill, South Carolina, we are confident of God’s promise to return us to Michigan, the land of our forefathers (and our grandchildren) in the near future. I look forward to seeing you-all again soon.
RELOAD TESTIMONY
Well, I remember when pastor Duane said that fighting the good fight of faith is one of the hardest things a person will do in his or her life time. I recently graduated Officer Candidate School in the Michigan Army National Guard and it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. The thing that kept me from quitting is that I didn’t want to be a quitter and I wanted to persevere. Well, since graduated Officer Candidate School, God has allowed me to purchase my own business in Saginaw Michigan which tripled my income with a loan at 2% interest. I also was able to come up with enough funds to build two churches, one in India and one in Pakistan. These are quality churches, in other words, I spent the max to make sure they had cement flooring, walls, PA system, rugs to sit on (they don’t like pews over there), a communion set, and a pulpit. Jesus said “even a hundred fold” and these are hundred fold stocks in my heavenly wealth because they are in the 10/40 window. When I purchased my business, I purchased it for pennies on the dollar, and the money I spent on the churches God pretty much reimbursed me by having the purchase price, which was ridiculously low already, get knocked down by the same amount the churches cost. I guess you can’t out give God. I still receive your emails and appreciate them even though I am on the other side of the state. I have found a church in Bay City that is a sister church of Rez Life.
FOCUS TESTIMONY
What addictions controls you Iife??- sex alcohol food anger Fear Money work-alcohol, sports, hunting, fishing, clothes, shopping, cars, bikes? Stepping into Freedom is for You I am 67 years old with 11 grandchildren, Christmas of 2007 was the first Christmas I was a born again, and really choose to understand the great gift God gave to us. I am legally married, but the enormous hurt and distrust from my actions and thoughts, are taking a long time to heal. God forgives instantly, It takes a Lot longer to forgive ourselves, confess our sins to be made whole, and longer for those around me to forgive and attempt to trust me. I was a sex addict, it started simply with looking at girls breasts and spying on my sister to see what a girls body looked like. National Geographic was the closest thing to porn that was available to us in a small town. For the first 25 years of my life the word pornography was never heard.
I was amazed that God continued to bless me with perfect health, cars, houses, and condo
My mind was filled with planning or lusting after any woman. The Internet was both my downfall and salvation. Downfall – easy private access to fill my mind with continuing worse and worse pictures and stories Salvation – Each day e-mail of Joel Osteens, Ken Copeland, and Daily Manna devotions Christian Radio – for background music to fill my day. Then Sings My Soul – song book with “old” hymns and psalms, and stories of the people who wrote them. I had been to “forced counseling” which had no effect on me. Marriage – Left first perfect wife for Sex partner. Finances – completely out of control. Stepping into Freedom – made me see me for what I was. It is the first “Bible Study” where I thought through and applied the truths to myself.
Tools God has made available to me
Habits. 1. Quiet time FIRST thing EVERY Day (read e-mail devotions look up suggested bible verses, Turn on Christian Radio, Again the internet – with Biblegateway.com provided instant search by word and look up of verses. ISI/reload provided the book SEX, God and Man? Which gave me insight (God gave me the tools) into looking at my true self
FOCUS TESTIMONY
When I first heard about this class, I was quite interested in learning more and was
seriously considering taking it. After learning more about it, my reaction was, “I don’t
now and never have had any problem with life-controlling addiction(s), so this isn’t for
me”. I then put it out of my mind, or so I thought.
Over the next several weeks, thoughts of the class kept coming into my mind and I
couldn’t help but take notice of further announcements of it starting. After a while I
figured that I had better start giving it more thought and prayer, as I couldn’t help but
think that God was behind all of the “subtle” reminders. I finally gave in and decided to
sign up, but frankly was still not convinced that it would be something that I would relate to. It should be no surprise, but I was definitely proven wrong. Although it is true that the course work is modeled to be a very Christ-centered form of the Alcohol Anonymous 12 Step Program, it should NOT be interpreted to be a class that is only suited for those struggling with current or past addictions.
I discovered very quickly that the class was geared to help me with the most fundamental
issues in my life, issues that I deal and at times struggle with EVERY DAY. As I got
into the weekly lessons, God revealed not only some very closely guarded areas that
needed to be dealt with, but also taught me tools and techniques (and in many cases
REMINDED me of tools) that I could utilize to wage battle and become victorious over
these issues. One of the biggest benefits of thec1ass for me was to engage in a journey with other likeminded men who struggled with many of the same things I do, to realize that I am not
alone in them, and most importantly understand the power of exposure and accountability
that will keep me heading in the right direction and focused on the right things.
I have definitely not conquered all of my “demons” nor have I arrived to a point where I
know I need to ultimately be. However, I have made some very valuable connections
with other men during the 13 weeks of this class and do know that I am now much better
equipped to continue on and PREVAIL in the battle, and I will get better and better at
living above my circumstances and accomplish God’s purpose for my life. In short, this
has definitely changed the course of my life.
I highly recommend this class to ANY man who is serious about improving his walk with
Jesus and recognizes the need for greater discipline and accountability in his life to
overcome whatever it is that is keeping you from doing it. The title of this class,
“Stepping Into Freedom”, says it all as far as I’m concerned. Again, don’t make the
mistake of thinking you need to be a current or former alcoholic or addict to get anything
out of it. You’ll be missing out on a potentially life-changing experience if you do.
